It is finished!
If you believe the book of John, and disregard the other books of gospel, then jesus’s last words were “It is finished”. Well now I can say the same, about my surgery! I finally have all six of my wisdom teeth out! (At least I should, I haven’t seen the X-rays, but I have no reason to doubt the surgeon) This last surgery was rough. My mouth still bleeds on occasion. My lips have a large fissure where they had to open my mouth very wide. Eating is still not as fun as it should be, but I am happy to be done with all the primary surgery. Now let’s hope the third wisdom tooth moves back in place, out from under wisdom tooth number two. Then I will be pretty and everyone will love me, I just know it! I will get asked to the dance by the most popular guy at school, and we will wow the crowd with our moves. Then we will ride off in a white carriage as we kiss and everyone gathers around to cheer for us. Doves will carry a banner above us and trumpets will sound. Authors and poets will write about us and children will sing our praises. It will be magical. Yeesh. What are they putting in my meds?
American Civil War Part II
Speaking of fissures, here are some fundies who want South Carolina to break from the U.S. and become their own nation. Apparently they want a country where everyone lives by the rules of their particular brand of religion. I think that is called a theocracy. Fun places like Iran, Northern Africa, and Dark Age Europe are examples of theocracies.
My question is, once this groups takes control of South Carolina, will they burn all the heretics at the stake who originally lived there? I would hope this does happen, except for that unfortunate situation. You see, this plan could get all the crazy fundies to move to South Carolina. They will then kill each other over who has the best bible translation, or how to take communion. We then take Carolina back, nice and empty, and are rid of these nut jobs.
What year is this? Where am I?
The last living widow of a civil war veteran has died. She was 97. The Civil war was 140 years ago. She outlived her husband, who was also her grandson. For the explanation of these seemingly nonsensical sentences, read this CNN article.
Amnesty International Condemns U.S.
Great Job! We are now on the same list as China for human rights violations at home and abroad. I can’t be more proud.
Why we must vote for Bush!
That’s what I had in mind when I voted for him in 2000.
Now, you can do something about getting Bush out of office, or if you are lazy, you can just play the Anti-Bush Online Adventure staring Hulk Hogan, Mr. T. ALF, C3PO, and other favorites from the ‘80s!
Want a new face? Did your favorite star just die and you would like to look like them? Now you can. What a weird world this could be.
New Eyes in Space
2014 will see the first of two telescopes launched by NASA to find earth sized planets orbiting other stars. So far we have only found gas giants, but with this step we will move closer to finding intelligent life like us on other planets.
Florida Executes Man for Suicide Attempt
It seems in the state of Florida it is illegal to have doctors help you commit suicide. If you want the state to do if for you though, all you have to do is kill some people. A suicidal man in prison wanted to die, so he killed a fellow prisoner to get on death row. Uh, why not just kill him in the first place, without making him kill someone else first?
President Kerry and Vice President John McCain
I think that would make a good combination, and one that the American people would vote for, but it won’t happen, thanks to party politics. Never mind what is best.
Did you know fundy is not in the dictionary? Gullible made it in. Fundy will eventually.
This font hurts my eyes.
Sean Connery: I've got to ask you about the Penis Mightier.
Alex Trebek: What? No. No, no, that is The Pen is Mightier.
Sean Connery: Gussy it up however you want, Trebek. What matters is does it work? Will it really mighty my penis, man?
Enjoy your memorial day and remember that many have been killed in this world over arguments. As an aside I hereby claim antarctica for me. I'm not sure what I will do with it, but it seems to be the last land left before Mars is open.