Entry: Oh the Humanity! Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Hi, I'm an Idiot!

CNN reports that a high school student in Odessa Texas drank an unknown chemical from the chemistry lab on a dare.  He was found in a school hallway bleeding from the nose and mouth and his throat was closed.  Apparently his asshole friends ditched him after handing him the unknown beaker of death.  He is now recovering in the hospital.  Too bad Billy.  Maybe you can make those Darwin awards next year when you swallow 50 9 volt batteries and a litre of bleach.

Natural Selection Foiled Again!

Evolution was halted from removing more fundies today as a german couple married for nine years was told the reason they have no children is because they don't have sexual relations.  It seems the couple went to a fertility clinic to find out why they could not get pregnant.  The clinic eventually found that the couple grew up with strict fundamentalist parents and had no notion of sex.  The story is being covered by morons.org and is almost certainly false, though still funny for those of us who have lived in a fundamentalist family.

Anesthesia error left surgery patient alert

The feeling of helplessness is a terrifying thing for anyone, and this is a classic nightmare.  Carol Weihrer was still conscious while doctors removed her eye.  She felt no pain, but could feel the pressure from the gouging and pulling, and could see the surgery taking place.  She said the worse part was not being able to move.  "It's like being entombed."  "Maybe you did die ... and maybe you're in hell."  She now suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder and cannot lie down as it triggers feelings of helplessness.

Women, Stop Doing This to Yourself!

tough situp
I've fallen, and I can't get up!  Seriously, there is no need to have breast implants this large.  She is obviously in great shape, then goes out and turns herself into a freak show that will have health problems and trouble performing everyday tasks.  Unfortunately, this is not the worst example.  I have seen breasts twice this large.  It gets to the point where they are not even recognizable as breasts anymore.  It's ridiculous.  This is your body.

Swarm of Space Robots Protect Earth

SpaceWorks Engineering, Inc. (SEI), has completed initial research into Modular Asteroid Deflection Mission Ejector Node (MADMEN) spacecraft thanks to a grant from the NASA Institute for Advanced Concepts (NIAC).  The design calls for several ships (up to a thousand) to be sent toward a near-Earth object (NEO), each robot drilling into the object and throwing the pieces into space, thus pushing the object slowly off course.  All I have to say is Damn, scientists like acronyms.

Democratic operatives form group to stop Nader

John Kerry met with Ralph Nader after Nadar complained that he was being ignored by Kerry.  Meanwhile another Democratic organization announced it would run ads against Nader in key states.  I wish we could get out of this party system mess.  Unfortunately a vote for another party is like a vote for Bushy.  I would like to see each candidate fill out a form listing their stance on all current issues and this form mailed to all voters.  We can then have debates on why they feel their stance is correct, and the voters can choose the candidate that best represents them.  While we are at it, lets get rid of the electoral college, and corporate donations to our leaders.  People should decide who they want to fund, not the corporation they work for.  Why do we want corporations to have senators in their pocket?

Raising a Terrorist; It takes a village

My high school alma mater is shut down today.  Yesterday there was a bomb threat and two lists of people to be killed as well as a report to a newspaper that there would be violence today.  This town will probably be the next littleton.

I'm sure many of you have heard of the abusive parents who named their child "version 2.0".  Well here is some humour for you from John Zakour's Geek Toons:
x-box boy

Current Music: Disturbed, Garbage, Soundtrack to Braveheart
Current Food: Soy burger, black and green tea, orange juice


May 19, 2004   05:52 PM PDT
jeesh, her boobs are so large that she got her feet stuck under the barstool! just goes to show...
May 19, 2004   08:16 PM PDT
They named their child "version 2.0?" Really? Shit, poor kid.

I'm totally with you on dissolving the parties alltogether. Of course, I'm about half a step away from anarchism, too. It's all Jackson's fault. :P
May 19, 2004   08:18 PM PDT
if u have aim im me at lildreamer8402...wouldnt mine talking to u
May 20, 2004   01:45 AM PDT
Seriously funny stuff!
May 20, 2004   04:37 PM PDT
Are you sure that story about fundamentalists was false? I wouldn't be at all surprised if it was true!

I know (not just "heard of" but actually know) a couple who, on their wedding night, sat beside each other on the bed wondering who was supposed to do what to whom.

Both came from religious families, not fundamentalist but of the "happy clapper" variety, and both had little knowledge of the details of sex although they had heard of it.

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